Welcome. You’re here for a reason: These are the basics--the good, the bad, the ugly. I’m not perfect, nor here to impress, play games, waste time nor win everyone over, just to connect with my future wife. If you like what you read, we'll align.

You’re feminine, affectionate, and emotionally mature. You take care of yourself, are physically active, you have a life you’re proud of.  And energy is very important, you bring a playful, sassy energy/edge — social, talkative, and present. I’m drawn to a woman who can be soft and strong: kind heart, sharp mind, steady standards.  And, who has a sense of humor-- can laugh.  Doesn't take life tooooo seriously..

• Emotional Intelligence: Emotionally available, past relationships resolved, unafraid of eventual commitment.
• Primary Love Languages: Physical affection and quality time
• Communication: Active listener with the ability to ask insightful questions.  Capable of engaging in reciprocal conversation.
• Conflict Resolution: Handles issues / disagreements through proactive, respectful, constructive communication.
• Is honest about pace and capacity.
• Stays curious instead of building worst-case stories.
• Does not jump to conclusions, asks questions
• If you need reassurance, ask directly. I’d rather answer than guess.

You’re drawn to a man who moves with purpose and with certainty in what he wants, composed in how he leads. Someone who plays to win, without having to under cut others. Power in his presence, not having to overcompensate by being loud. Generous without being a push over. In command, never controlling.  Passionate, with a sense of adventure.  You want a man who gives you the space to soften and to ease into your femininity.

You want to feel safe in every sense... emotionally steady, financially secure, physically protected. Mentally challenged. Turned on. Fully seen. Alive.

• Name: RJ (I only go by RJ).  I'll let you know what the "RJ" stands for, if we hit it off.
• Height: 6'1"
• Residence Location: Newport Beach, CA (However, in the midst of house shopping in Newport Beach, Corona Del Mar, Costa Mesa, Irvine)
• Profession:  Leading a residential real estate group (land, investment, development), Investor, and a foundation based in education reform and youth extracurriculars. 
• Education: Bachelor's Degree
• Political Orientation: Independent thinker
• Religion: Spiritual / Guided by Christian ethics and morals
• Physical Attributes: Black hair, brown eyes
• Volunteer Roles: Youth mentor
• Personality: Leader, protector, provider. Trains hard, thinks independently, lives boldly. Big on health, family, building a life with intention.  Emotionally grounded, financially stable, spiritually centered.  I’ve made myself deliberately the way I am, different, because I know the future I’m chasing requires it. 

In a partnership, I commit to:

• Talking It Out: I communicate clearly, especially when something feels off.
• Protector – Making sure you feel safe emotionally, mentally, physically, financially through my masculine energy, chivalry and also my hard work. 
• Commitment: I don’t half-ass life. I build things that last.  When I choose someone, I’m all in — I commit to what matters.
• Stability:  I’ve done the work — emotionally, financially, spiritually. I’ve built a life with strong foundations: Emotionally grounded, financially secure, and future-focused.
• Excitement: Adventure isn’t just travel — it’s mindset.
• Affection & Appreciation: Your feminine energy will be appreciated.  I express love through presence, touch, and attention. 
• Leadership & Loyalty: I lead with calm strength, I protect what I build, and I make time for those who are on my team.
• Decisive & Calm Under Pressure: Under pressure and on a mission, I move with logic, clarity, and precision. But when it’s time to play or connect—I’m all in. 
• Emotional Intelligence: I show up fully and expect the same.
• Shared Energy, Not Identical Interests: We don’t need to be carbon copies. But we move together. Moonlit drives. Mental challenges. Quiet mornings or wild nights—we create our rhythm.
• Support: I’ll have your back when life hits hard, and it will. Whether it’s the joy of success or navigating the realities of aging and life's inevitable challenges, I'm your teammate, protector, and unwavering support.
• Presence: I believe a gentleman is a calming presence to the woman he cares about. A man should put others ahead of himself, and make sure he can be in a position to do so.  With me, it's doors opened, I’ll plan the date, make the reservation, and walk on the street side of the sidewalk.  Part of the joy of being a man is doing things for my partner.
• Open: If there’s something you’re needing that I’m not giving, speak up. I’m solid in who I am, but this is a partnership, I can adjust.

In a way, I want to be the man you brag about to your girlfriends. The one who’s got it handled at work, shows up at home, makes you feel safe & supported, and still finds ways to keep you smiling. Imperfect, sure, but always putting in the effort. I engineered myself to be different, because I don't want to be average.

I live my life on my terms, but I partner based on our terms.  I worked hard to get to where I am.  And, I will not apologize for being selective, knowing what I want and going for it, nor any of the other facets of living my own life on my own terms.  The caveat to that is that I have not just been working hard for myself, and my family, but my future wife.  

Together, we can build a partnership where:

• Power Couple vibes
• Supporting Each Others Goals/Future
  We support each others future goals, what each of us is individually working through and on.  And, on the terms set by the person working those goals, not by the other party.  For example, I am supporting your future goals on your terms, not mine.
• Synergy
  We amplify each other. Together, we move farther, faster, stronger.
• Emotional Depth
  Honest conversations. Daily connection. No small talk.
• Chemistry That Lasts
  That rare connection that doesn’t burn out—it deepens.
• Balanced Polarity
  Mutual respect. You thrive in your feminine. I stay rooted in my masculine. That balance is our rhythm.
• Adventure & Grounding
  We make space for both—spontaneous getaways and quiet nights where the world fades.
• Growth & Grit
  We sharpen each other. Push each other. Give space when space is needed and celebrate when it clicks.
• Family, Friends, & Future
  We protect what matters. Care for our people. 
• Wealth Generation
  Build real wealth and legacy, together.

If you’re working on your own goals, I’ll give you space and support you. If there’s a practical way I can help, including financially, we can talk it through.

Let’s be that power couple ... I'm already building something grand.  Let's build something grand-er together.

For me, distance won't hinder the right connection & I'll drive to you.

Simple progression from voice call to video call, to in-person meet. 

I will lead with respect (of your boundaries) and will move at a grounded pace, calibrating with you.
But to be clear: if I’m taking you out, it’s with romantic intention. I’m not here to collect friends or kill time.

Simple, short, fun, energized, warm.  Is there an energy and chemistry match?  If there is, we'll have a longer second date.

After our first date, expect to hear from me daily. Whether by text or call. Respond whenever you have time.  No pressure. I believe in consistency, not guesswork.  And, consistency builds trust.

I have been told I can come across as intimidating or hard to read, at first, especially when I’m deep in thought or pushing through a stressful week.   Please be patient with me.

• So many go for instant gratification...I’m not for the woman chasing the thrill of her own chemical reactions, which are heavily dependent on her own current state of mind. I’m for the one who senses there’s more underneath.

My friends describe me as ambitious, relentless, compassionate. 

Top (5) Words to Describe Me: Competitive, Strategic, Commanding, Grounded, Dynamic

Astrological Sign: Libra

STRENGTHS FINDERS

Describes me as Command, Ideation, Strategic, Duty, & Responsibility.  

Test Link: CliftonStrengths Online Talent Assessment (StrengthsFinder)

DISC 

profile describes me as Creative, Dominant.

Test Link (Free): Free DISC & Personality Test (Crystal)

MYERS BRIGGS

type is ENTJ: (The Commander) Extraversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judging.

Test Link (Free): 16Personalities MBTI‑style Test (Free)

LOVE LANGUAGES

are physical touch, then quality time, then words of appreciation.

Test Link (Free): The 5 Love Languages® Quiz (Official)

COMMUNICATION STYLE: Assertive  

Test Link (Free): https://www.quiztype.com/tests 

ENNEAGRAM

1 (99% match), 3 (89% match), 8 (78% match), 2 (69% match), 4 (64% match), 6 (85% match), 5 (76% match), 7 (63% match), 9 (50% match)

Test Link (Free): Free Enneagram Personality Test (Crystal)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Test (PsychologyToday)

82% (82 out of 100)

Test Link: Emotional Intelligence Test (PsychologyToday)

ATTACHMENT STYLE 

Secure Attachment

Test Link (Free): Attachment Style Test (PsychologyToday)

The links above are just online versions of the assessments I used. Some may be free and others paid. I’m not affiliated with or promoting any of them. I’m simply sharing the results from tests I chose to take.

Father to two girls (10 and 8), and it’s a healthy, predictable setup. They live with their mom in an adjacent county for school stability, and I see them on a consistent schedule, every other weekend plus short midweek visits. I’m in that area during the week at times anyway for business, so my midweek visits fit naturally.  Here’s the important part: I’m a committed father, and I also have room to be a committed partner. You won’t be competing with my kids, and you won’t be recruited into a parent role. If kids in the picture are a hard no, I respect that, but if you’re open-minded, you’ll find I’m balanced, stable, and intentional.

And yes, the timeline gets simpler, in about 8 to 10 years I’m likely in an empty-nest season.

If you have kids, that's fine with me.

I have 20+ years of experience as a senior executive in my industry, real estate & construction.  I design and build communities from the ground up--turning raw land into neighborhoods, designing parks, naming streets, etc..

• Dancing: Salsa and ballroom
• Musician: Synthesizer
• Mentorship
• Martial Arts
• Quantum Mechanics/Physics
• Philosophy
• Humor: Comedy clubs. Dry, deadpan comedy is favorite.
• Fitness: Training is my meditation.
• Conversations: I dont do small talk.  Intellectual/meaningful conversations.
• Adventure:  living boldly through travel/adventure/experiences whether its cruises, racing sports cars (for fun), luxury spots, special excursions or more.
• Museums/Documentaries: Art, Natural History, Sciences

• Ideas that challenge the way we think & what we know
• Human behavior
• Business
• Real estate
• Spirituality

I am deeply committed to education reform.   That is, reforming education curriculums to include lessons in real world skills, emphasis on mental health, and leveraging technology to allow students to learn at their own pace.  I aim to help foster a world where my daughters — and all kids — can grow up in a world where they’re empowered, prepared, and protected.

• Watching sports (I’m more into action than spectating, but I’ll make an exception for you.)
• Lateness without a heads-up
• Shallow small talk — I like real conversations, not just filler
• One-sided effort — if I’m the only one asking questions, I’m out
• Assumptions, snap judgments, or generalizations
• Smoking

• When I’m passionate about something, I tend to sometimes dominate the conversation. If I do, feel free to speak up. I value women who bring energy and insight to the table.
• I’m calm and steady by nature, and sometimes that makes me seem hard to read. If you ever wonder where I stand, ask.
• When life throws stress my way, I might get quiet — not distant, just realigning. I’ll always make the effort to reconnect and stay grounded with you.
• I may not always have the perfect words, but you can count on me to offer emotional support and stand by you.
• If I ever fail to meet expectations, just let me know and we'll figure it out together.

• Marriage: We got married in our latter 20's.  Through the marriage, I did the best I could to show up for her, supported her financially through school, took big stretches with the kids so she could rest, and arranged my work so she had real time after each baby-- giving her the maximum FMLA allotment of leave from work. Now that I understand so much more, I realize I could have done better in terms of meeting her needs, however I did my best to ensure she and the Children were protected and provided for.  I loved my ex-wife very much but ultimately our differences, particularly in a lack of effective communication and accordingly, understanding in each other, led to the breakup of the marriage.  My ex-wife is now remarried. However, she will always remain an important part of my "extended family."
• Divorce: Why did my ex and I Divorce? We lost our connection after becoming parents, struggled with mismatched communication & personalities, and grew apart as our differences became more impactful over time.

• I’d like to get re-married one day.

• I’ve never been arrested/no arrests, No DUIs.
• Last time I got a traffic ticket was a “California stop” over 20 years ago.
• Heads up: There's someone in Orange County with a similar name who has a restraining order - that's definitely not me.  I do not know him and I do not know the other party.

Everyone says communication matters. Few actually practice it.

What I value is simple: if something’s off, speak. If something’s unclear, ask.  Most things -- misunderstandings, mismatches, missed signals are fixable with clarity and mutual respect.

Some women like a lot of texting (morning, during the day, etc), some don't.  Naturally, Im more a phone guy than a texter but I listen to my audience.  Identifying the right cadence is a person-to-person thing so please pardon my efforts as I calibrate to your style.

If I am complimenting you, it's because I see something in you I haven't seen much of, if at all.  I don't take things nor people for granted and I appreciate.  And I will let you know.

If that's too much, at the time, that's ok just let me know and I'll cool the jets; but, if the modus operandi is to play back and forth games, that's not for me.

Substance Matters
Intelligence is sexy.  I tend to be sapiosexual.

I move with an old-school kind of masculinity—the kind that doesn’t compete with femininity, but protects it, honors it, and draws power from its presence.

A real man takes care of his people, acts with generosity, stays calm when pressure hits, and owns his missteps without excuse.

He doesn’t need to be loud to be respected.
He doesn’t break others down to feel strong.
And he knows that real power isn’t force - it’s restraint, precision, and presence.

The danger of strong or rapid paced chemistry is that the subject matter and actions might advance feelings in such a way that may through off one or both parties.  Opening up and getting visceral is a very intimate thing.  We all have feelings.  Let's respect each others feelings, let's share things gradually so the safe space we create is built to last.  If you’re a woman who values emotional depth and masculine leadership in the same man, we’re speaking the same language.

I wish women appreciated how hard it is for us men to open up and be vulnerable, in a dynamic environment, & still come off as masculine and strong.  It's a tight-rope walk.  I wish people saw or appreciated when I open up and am vulnerable; and, when I am calm & kind, despite stress and pressure, and without sacrificing my strength and command presence.

If you’re emotionally mature enough to embrace a real connection without flinching when it gets meaningful, we’ll get along perfectly.  

I date, with intention, and I treat a woman like she could be my future wife because unless something goes wrong that’s where the dating track leads, not in a rush but as a path ahead.  That’s the standard I live by. If I choose you, I’m showing up with consistency, respect, and real effort from the start. I want to build the kind of habits that last, not just chemistry that fades.

I’m not here for a fantasy relationship. I’m here for something real: steady effort, honest communication, and mutual curiosity. I’m looking for someone who wants to learn the real person, values consistency, and is comfortable building something through actions, not just chemistry.

Not just from personal experience but seeing others, people seem to give up way too easily and aren't willing to do the work, when the entire point of a relationship is to do the work--- but together.
No matter how great the connection is, there's still going to be work.

And if nothing else, my goal is simple: If you’ve spent time with me, even if it didn’t work out, we are each better for it.

Modern dating’s full of contradictions.
Be available—but not too soon. Be strong—but not too cold.
Show you care—but act like you don’t. Play coy.

I don’t move like that.

I don’t pretend not to care to gain control.  That's not sexy, that's manipulation.

I’m naturally very physically affectionate and passionate.  Physical intimacy is important to me-- whether its holding hands, cuddling, or sex.  I have a high libido and I'm happiest with a partner who also enjoys frequent affection and a playful, connected sex life - always mutual, always respectful.  While I will always initiate, I love it when a woman initiates too -- makes me feel desired whether its waking me up in the middle of the night or asking for it when we go to bed.  I honor boundaries and am always open to adjusting if I come on too strong.  The total long-term connection is what is most important. 

I do not ask a woman to enter into a relationship, with me, until I am sure I can honor it fully.   So if it feels like we are both in the relationship mindset and headed toward that point, I’ll ask toward making it official.  

To me, being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship isn’t about labels, it’s about clarity, respect, and commitment. We each still have our own space, our own friends, our own lives.  No demands, no unreasonable expectations or obligations. Just means that we agree to solely date eachother, that we are there for each other, and at least for some sort of contact daily (text/call/whatever). 

I see conflict as an opportunity for growth, if handled effectively. I stay calm, give the benefit of the doubt, and stay open to feedback. 

If something’s wrong, whether it’s something I did or something you're feeling, it's ok to tell me directly. I won’t shut down, get defensive, make you regret your honesty, or throw it back at you. I’ll listen, I’ll try to understand, and I’ll take responsibility where it’s mine.

Not everything written online or conveyed through third parties ever reflects the full story.  Among other things, it can reflect someone else’s unresolved, false, or one-sided story. 

I have been made aware that my ex-wife posted some false defamatory statements online when we were going through our divorce.  Since then, we have divorced and have a positive co-parenting partnership.  I anticipate those posts being removed shortly.

If you ever come across something online that raises a question, ask me directly, I’ll answer calmly and honestly.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you!
Truth shows itself eventually, so I lead with it.
If we’re not aligned, better to know now than waste time pretending.

If I'm not the right fit for you, no hard feelings, I'm good with being friends -- there’s still real value in staying connected, we may end up being a great introduction for each other to who might be our right match.

It's not unusual for two people not to match but one or both may have a friend that winds up being a match.

If you want to be and feel safe, wanted, inspired, supported, seen, and alive, in a partnership built on trust, chemistry and mutual respect, then let’s talk.